When Understanding Isn't Enough

For many families, understanding dyslexia or ADHD feels like a turning point.

There is relief in finally having language for what you’ve been seeing. Relief in knowing your child isn’t lazy, careless, or not trying hard enough. Relief in understanding that their brain works differently.

And yet, after the reading, the webinars, the ebooks, something often lingers.

Learning is still hard.

Progress doesn’t feel steady. Confidence comes and goes. Some days feel encouraging. Others feel like you’re back where you started.

Parents often say to me, “We understand our child now. So why does it still feel like such a struggle?”

It’s an important question. And it’s a common one.

Dyslexia and ADHD Often Sit Side by Side

Dyslexia and ADHD frequently overlap.

Dyslexia affects how language is processed, reading, spelling,, writing, comprehension. ADHD affects self-regulation, focus, attention, impulse control, working memory, emotional responses, energy levels, sequencing and creating order.

When these two profiles sit together, learning becomes more complex.

A child may understand what’s being taught but struggle to access it consistently. They may appear capable one day and overwhelmed the next. They may focus deeply on what interests them, yet find schoolwork exhausting.

This isn’t about ability.

It’s about load.

Why Progress Rarely Looks Like a Straight Line

One of the hardest things for parents to navigate is uneven progress.

A child makes gains. Reading improves. Confidence lifts. And then, suddenly, things dip again.

Families worry that the support isn’t working. That skills have been lost. That something has gone wrong.

But for neurodivergent learners, progress is rarely linear.

Learning sits on top of self-regulation, emotional safety, working memory, and executive functioning. When those systems are stretched, by school demands, transitions, social pressure, or fatigue, learning is often the first thing to wobble.

This is why effort alone isn’t the answer.

A child whose nervous system is overloaded can’t push their way into learning. Their brain is already working hard just to cope.

Understanding Isn’t the Same as Support

By this point, many families understand dyslexia and ADHD well.

What they often haven’t been shown is how much the way learning is delivered matters.

Most traditional learning environments rely on sustained attention, verbal instruction, working memory, speed, and output.

For dyslexic and ADHD learners, this creates constant strain.

Not because they can’t learn.

But because the method asks their brain to work against itself.

When learning depends on holding information in mind, processing language quickly, sitting still for long periods, or managing emotions under pressure, the nervous system shifts into survival mode.

And learning becomes fragile.

Parents often describe it as, “It makes sense, but it doesn’t stick.”

Self-Regulation Comes First

One of the most important shifts for families is realising that learning success isn’t driven by motivation or discipline.

It’s driven by self-regulation.

A regulated brain can access memory. Integrate new information. Tolerate challenge. Recover from mistakes.

A dysregulated brain cannot, no matter how bright the child is.

For children with ADHD and dyslexia, regulation isn’t something happening quietly in the background. It’s the foundation everything else rests on.

When learning approaches don’t account for this, children use enormous energy just trying to stay engaged.

There’s very little left for growth.

This is also why pressure, rewards, or “pushing through” often increase distress rather than progress. They add stress without increasing capacity.

“It Works at Home, But Not at School”

Many parents notice that learning looks different in different environments.

At home, with flexibility and safety, things feel possible. At school, with noise, transitions, expectations, and time pressure, everything feels harder.

This isn’t defiance. It isn’t lack of effort.

It’s context.

ADHD and dyslexic brains are sensitive to cognitive and emotional load. When the environment changes, so does the child’s ability to cope.

Understanding this helps families move away from blame, of themselves, their child, or the support they’ve tried, and towards clarity.

Moving Forward Means Alignment

Understanding changes how we see our children.

But understanding alone doesn’t change learning outcomes.

Moving forward means finding approaches that work with the nervous system, not against it. Learning that reduces load. Structure that creates safety. Methods that prioritise regulation before performance.

When the right alignment is in place, children don’t just make academic gains.

They settle.

They engage.

They begin to trust themselves again.

And parents stop feeling like they are constantly firefighting.

Confidence Grows From the Right Support

The goal isn’t to fix dyslexia or ADHD.

It’s to understand what a child needs in order to thrive, and to meet them there.

When learning is aligned with how a child’s brain works, progress becomes more sustainable. Not perfect. Not effortless.

But calmer. Clearer. More hopeful.

And for families who have already done the work of understanding, that next step forward can make all the difference.

Want to learn more?

Book a free call with me on: https://bit.ly/DyslexiaExplorehttps://bit.ly/DyslexiaExplore